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Today John and I decided to go swimming since the fitness center was closed. On our way walking to the bath house I saw a nun. I at first thought that she was Amish because she dresses like an Amish lady from head to toe. John explained to me that she is a sister that dress uniform is black and grey. Keep my eyes open because I will see as he calls it the pink penguins. Meaning there are nuns that wear white and pink. So I went up to the nun to ask her, just to confirm that she was a sister, and of course she said yes. I was pleasantly please.

I once wanted to become a nun. I was very spiritual back in the days, but when I have learn once I begin studying to become a nun that I could not have sex…I said forget it. I love to have sex. Therefore, I left that idea behind. I sometime think about the different path of life I would have played out if I took them. How different my life would be today.

On another note today is a German holiday for the workers. Mostly all stores were close today and many restaurants. Today was also Esslingen 15 years anniversary of Flohmarkt (second hand sales) for miles and mile in the city center (stadtmitte). We did not find anything of interest. We walked back home eating an ice cream cone and stopped by the bakery. We bought a few rolls and ate my first slice of onion cake. It was delicious. It is called Zwiebelkuchen a Swabish traditional desert, but to me it felt like lunch, lol.

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This is a post I wrote in my notebook when I did not have internet connection a month ago:

What is your body perception? Do you see yourself as you really are? I do not. I am learning more and more about myself as I get older. When I was younger I always saw myself as fat, never normal. When I was in college and was exercising like a maniac losing ton of weight, I still saw myself as fat. Everyone saw me as unhealthy. One day my mother had to sit down and talk to me about my appearance and beg me to start eating more and working out a little less. I love my mother so much that I did what she asked. Fell in love and gain tremendous amount of weight. 8 years later I am on the verge of trying to lose over 100lbs.

I recently lost 78lbs but still on the heavy side. I order some clothes that were supposedly my size. The reason why I say supposed to be my size is because it is the current size that I wear now. So I am like trying on clothes and notice they do not fit right, at least the tops. They are too big on me. They look kind of sloppy. I am like wow, did I lost more weight? I ran to check the scale, nope just 2lbs.  2lbs does not make that much of a big difference? Each top I tried on I am like wow, I always see myself as huge but in my clothing it tells me different. I am very please but at the same time confused of why do I think and see myself one way but the clothes show me different? My body perception is all off…I hope one day I can really see myself as others see me.

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