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Archive for the ‘drama’ Category

This is a post I wrote in my notebook when I did not have internet connection a month ago:

I cannot stand when a person takes advantage of another person; especially when that person is helping them to get on their feet. Some people say one thing and do something else and I guess forget what they said earlier. For example: a person said to me that they never had a credit card in their life because they believe if they do not have it then they should not get it or buy the items. I totally agree with this when she, Haras, stated this. But then later when we went to a discount store she continue complaining that she does not have her wallet and how she left it at my mother house. I told her she should always take along some money with here where ever she goes because she never knows when she will be in need to buy something or even to get home. Anything can happen. She replied, “Yes, I know. I normally take my wallet with me but it is so heavy in my pocket that I left it at the house.” So I told her, “Well you now know where this store is located when you’re in the mood come back.” Later I found out that she is conning my mother to buy the products for her. I was frustrated…why is she asked my mother to buy these products when she can buy it herself. She recently got paid and can come back later anytime! So my mother asked me to pay since she did not carry enough on her. I wanted to yelled and tell my mother, “No, I am not responsible for Haras, I am only responsible for you”! But this is my mother so I did what she asks me but I was so furious. My mother even mention…”are you mad”. I told her of course, you know how I feel about helping out people who are supposed to help themselves. What I just purchase for Haras is a want it is not a need. For a person who used to be homeless they rather spend money on wants? I want back my money as soon as I reach back to the house! When we all arrived in the house I waited patiencely cussing in my head…and Haras gave me back my money and said thank you. I of course said you’re welcome. I think the whole ordeal that pissed me off is what my mother accepted. Since I been little people always took advantage of her and took her kindness, but later trample all over her. I was hoping she learned by now. First strike with me with Haras was when she gave my mother $75 and this is supposed to be a monthly pay since Haras said she only get paid $630 once a month. Are you f-ing kidding me! Second strike was the store incident. Granted she does many things that annoy me that I notice so far about her…these two strikes was my biggest. I am trying to convince my mother of kicking her out since Haras is trying to get comfortable. But she said she see what she will give next month. Hell I would stay with someone too if I am only paying $75 a month and they are sharing their dinner with me, and everything cheaper than a hotel! What a loser!!!!

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This is a post I wrote in my notebook when I did not have internet connection a month ago:

What is your body perception? Do you see yourself as you really are? I do not. I am learning more and more about myself as I get older. When I was younger I always saw myself as fat, never normal. When I was in college and was exercising like a maniac losing ton of weight, I still saw myself as fat. Everyone saw me as unhealthy. One day my mother had to sit down and talk to me about my appearance and beg me to start eating more and working out a little less. I love my mother so much that I did what she asked. Fell in love and gain tremendous amount of weight. 8 years later I am on the verge of trying to lose over 100lbs.

I recently lost 78lbs but still on the heavy side. I order some clothes that were supposedly my size. The reason why I say supposed to be my size is because it is the current size that I wear now. So I am like trying on clothes and notice they do not fit right, at least the tops. They are too big on me. They look kind of sloppy. I am like wow, did I lost more weight? I ran to check the scale, nope just 2lbs.  2lbs does not make that much of a big difference? Each top I tried on I am like wow, I always see myself as huge but in my clothing it tells me different. I am very please but at the same time confused of why do I think and see myself one way but the clothes show me different? My body perception is all off…I hope one day I can really see myself as others see me.

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